The Programs and Teachers That Have Had the Greatest Impact on Me

Top five for personal development and growth.

Dabbling is not a particular skill of mine. The tools I use and recommend come from systems and modalities that I’ve spent a lot of time studying and experimenting with in my own life. Not everyone has the time to do this; I consider it my vocation, and I do this work for myself and for you. I hope to give you tools that you can use in your life now, today, without needing to go on a ten-day retreat to learn more.

That said, people are often curious about the teachings that have been most formative for me, and some people do want to go on a ten-day retreat (enjoy!). Here are some of the disciplines that have had an outsized impact on me.

Eduard Pechuël-Loesche, Violet Twilight Glow at the Time of the Grass Fires. (Evening) — Loango Coast (present-day Republic of Congo) April 13th 1876.

Enneagram

No discipline has been more formative to me than the Enneagram personality system. It is unique among the personality systems (Myers-Briggs, DiSC, etc.). The Enneagram is about understanding the box that you have put yourself in—not so that you can stay in that box, but so that you can step outside it, and get access to the full range of what it means to be a human being. You can read more about why I like the Enneagram, and my approach to finding out your type (there are nine types). You can listen to my workshop on the gifts and challenges of each type (become a paid subscriber to access). The Enneagram Institute can be a helpful broader resource. And I continue to study with renowned Enneagram teacher Russ Hudson.

Conscious Leadership Group

CLG was founded by Diana Chapman and Jim Dethmer; among their many gifts is an ability to curate from a number of different sources to put together a pretty comprehensive offering of what it means to be conscious in this world. (I first encountered the Enneagram while doing my own personal development with CLG.) There’s a lot to explore, a lot to learn through CLG. (Their work is organized around 15 “commitments”; you may be familiar with the related book). One lens, or way of seeing the world, that CLG holds up and that I think is really valuable is this simple question: Is the world happening to me, or is it happening by me and for me?

Katie and Gay Hendricks

Katie and Gay have been married for more than four decades. Katie, whom I’ve studied with, has a PhD in transpersonal psychology. (His PhD is in counseling psychology.) They’ve coauthored many books, and like CLG, their work is grounded in taking responsibility. It’s focused on finding deep connection, being a part of and learning from conscious relationships, and feeling and using your body’s innate intelligence. The Hendricks Institute offers courses, coaching, and more.

The Work of Byron Katie

Many of you will be familiar with this practice, or meditation, of noticing a stressful thought, questioning it, and turning it around. It’s comprised of four simple steps that can ultimately lead to a shift in perspective, and greater freedom of mind. Byron Katie offers her tools for free on her website, and what I learned and experienced through her nine-day retreat, the School for the Work, is woven into much of what I teach.

Alexander Technique

Much of my practice focuses on our embodied experience; the sensations we actually feel in our bodies, and what we can learn from them. The Alexander Technique is a method for changing postural habits, increasing mobility and the ease with which we move, relieving tension, and bringing greater awareness to the way the different parts of our body are connected. My primary teacher for ten years was Jessica Wolf, who specializes in helping people restore their natural breathing rhythms. (She’s professor emerita in the Practice of Acting at David Geffen School of Drama at Yale; she established their Alexander Training curriculum in 1998.) She teaches private lessons and also has a repository of Alexander Technique teachers who are certified in her breathing method.

Use the comments below to share resources with one another that have been foundational to your own personal development and growth.